For Immediate Release

In an effort to support endurance athletes and in conjunction with a leading aerospace design group, Coeur Sports is pleased to announce that it has developed a revolutionary drone-based nutrition and apparel delivery system. The drone system, named the Nutri-Eagle, will be able to intercept athletes during their actual race to deliver food, drinks, and a change of clothes.

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Thanks to the Nutri-Eagle, you’ll never fear missing your special needs bag. The Nutri-Eagle is the result of years of research and development and represents the state of the art in airborne nutrition and apparel delivery. According to Coeur founder Kebby Holden, the idea for Nutri-Eagle came after hearing stories from athletes about needing a change of clothes or running out of their favorite foods during races and not wanting to wait until they reached their special needs bags.  

April Fools Joke from Coeur

Added Holden, “This was a complex engineering project with implications beyond endurance sports and we had our challenges along the way. For example, we had to deny a request from a national security agency to re-write the software in the drone so that the Nutri-Eagle could launch Hellfire Missiles.” The agency stated that this was only in case we came across any foreign operatives disguised as racers.

“Now, to be clear, it’s not that we aren’t patriots or that we weren’t concerned about national security, it’s just that the arming of the Nutri-Eagle would set a dangerous precedent and we didn’t want to start down that slippery slope.”

Coeur April Fools 

If Coeur armed the Nutri-Eagle, this could be next

Despite the absence of heavy weaponry, there’s no disputing the fact that the Nutri-Eagle is a technological masterpiece. Not only does the craft contain a cooking surface, but it also has a fully functional washer and dryer so that athletes can end the race with clothes as fresh as when they started.

Despite rumors to the contrary, the device isn’t completely autonomous. Rather, it is operated remotely from a Coeur facility hidden somewhere in the Nevada desert. The Facility, nicknamed Kitty-51, is rumored to be staffed with highly trained professional triathletes looking to augment their income.

To learn more about the Nutri-Eagle, visit Coeur’s website at



Reginald Holden